Who needs a man was an idea that came to me years ago. I was underemployed and struggling to keep the lights on and feed my children. My lawnmower would not start, and the repair shop wanted 70 dollars to diagnose the problem in addition to the cost of the repairs. That amount of money would feed my family for a week. What’s a single girl to do? I searched YouTube, learned how to tune up my mower, and it started! For the price of a spark plug, air filter, engine oil, and most importantly, a bottle of wine. The wine was partly for my sanity as I worked through this process and to celebrate the very fact that I did this all by myself.
The next day as I was mowing my lawn, a neighbor stopped and asked how it felt to cut my grass with the mower I fixed all by myself. I put my foot on top of the mower and said, “Honey, I am president of whoneedsaman.com. I thought “hmmm…. I wonder if that domain is available… “I ran inside and yes it was, so I bought it.
The idea was to find a way to make whoneedsaman.com a place to empower and encourage women to know that they can do life single, without a significant other. I made a few attempts to get it up and running but life got in the way and I tabled it. Maybe that was a good thing. It has given me time to truly learn how to embrace and enjoy my singleness. I know so many women, and men, who are willing to sacrifice their own happiness and peace in the name of not being single. As if it is better to be in a relationship for the sake of not being single, even if that relationship is unhappy, dysfunctional, unhealthy or even worse, abusive
My vision is to encourage women and men that it is possible to get past that gripping fear that one cannot enjoy life as a single person. Honestly – I would much rather have a life partner. Someone I can share my secrets with, someone to laugh with, cry with, just do life with. Sometimes that is not what we get. Maybe the right person hasn’t come along, or you get divorced or go through a break up. Even worse your significant other passes away. Whatever the situation, many of us are going to end up single at some point. Just because we are single does not mean we are alone or unhappy. I have been through 2 failed marriages, and very recently a soul crushing break up. I had to remember that I could do this on my own and I didn’t need a significant other to get through life AND be happy. I had to change my perspective. Nobody is responsible for my happiness except me.
Most importantly, I had to love myself. To love myself meant forgiving others and myself. I had to learn to stop being so nice. By that I mean I learned to set boundaries and speak my mind – something I continue to work on. No kidding, at 55 years old I am just figuring that part out. As I master that, the rest continues to become more manageable. Not taking myself so seriously and finding humor in just about everything helps, too. It is not easy, but it is possible. ; I might be single, but I am never alone. I am surrounded by my family and wonderful friends who have become my family. They are supportive, wonderful people who love me unconditionally and I could not do life without them.
I am not a therapist or a life coach. I am a person who strives to be as authentic as I can each day, who enjoys every moment on the planet, regardless of the circumstances, which at times can be quite daunting. I am continually learning more about myself and how to manage life with all the curve balls it throws at us. I have been through things that would break many people. I know this is true for so many of us. My hope is that sharing my experiences about how I overcome obstacles, always have a sense of humor, choose joy, and continue to be happy, will provide some hope and insight… or at least some entertainment. I hope you follow me as we navigate through this thing called life!